Nikki

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Pittsburgh, United States
35 Y/O wife to Tim and mom to Emma,Noah,Caleb, Stella and 2 babies in Heaven.Trying to walk in the path of the Lord and carrying my family with me. I love our 1902 home we purchased more 10 years ago. It is constantly evolving and goes through whatever changes my little heart desires. I love vintage treasures and I'm always on the hunt for them! My hope is that this blog will be a constant scrapbook for my family and home,a place to make new friends and just somewhere to lay out my thoughts,even if they aren't beautiful or inspiring. XoXo-Nikki

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

I want my passion back

                              
                       Way back when..... when this blog had just started.......one of my very favorite thing to post about was my love for this big,old,falling down 1902 home. When we bought this house in 2001 I was so very proud of it. We were 23, most of our friends still had apartments. Some even still lived with their parents but here we were with a real grown up house.

         It had only been 5 years before that I was still deciding how to hang up a Rocky Horror poster in my bedroom and now here I was picking out paint swatches,trying to figure out how to get rid of the ugly wallpaper in the bathroom and decorate the nursery as Noah was on his way. The first room we painted was the dining room in Cranberry Zing. I was excited to use a daring color and just to have my very own dining room. A room for dining. As I sit in that very room right now I can tell you not much dining happens in here. Crafts happen,coloring happens. Sometimes homework. Mail piles up in here. Lots of mail. Sometimes I fold laundry in here but dining.......no, not really.


Cranberry Zing.....I'm so over you.


       So anyways, I guess what I'm getting at is that I miss loving my house. I miss the passion I had for decorating and making it a home. A unique living space just for us. It's a mixture of lacking things: time,energy and I guess even money although I can really do a lot with a little. These days I'm lucky to be feeling well enough to pick up after Stella and vacuum up Cheerio's.

     So I have this plan in my head to LOVE my house again. I'm not going to spend any money on craft stuff or other junk that I think I have to have. I want it to go into the house. We've talked about moving.. But we know it's not a realistic dream anytime soon. We raised our kids in this tiny community and they are completely rooted. So I just need to have the best place possible so these babies can bloom where they have been planted.

     I'm not sure what I can do in here. There is a lot of painting that needs done and we desperately need new living room furniture. This stuff is only 5 years old and looks horrible. I solemnly vow to never buy microfiber ever again. Because right now stains made by water are being covered with quilts and such. It's kind of funky and not the kind of eclectic funky I like. More like white trash funky.

     I also have to say goodbye to Cranberry Zing. It's dark and sometimes cozy but our house doesn't exactly get a lot of sunshine and I need to brighten things up around here. Speaking of brightening I want to add windows to the living room flanking the fireplace. I'm hoping this is doable. Let there be light! Then again all the existing windows already need replaced. I can't really open any of them without breaking a nail or having them slam back down on me.
 I said this house was falling down. I meant it.

        I want to love this place again.....to want to want to be here....to feel like being hospitable again.....to not go to someones house for the first time and think 'Oh, no way are they ever seeing my place.'


            So now I'm sure some people may read this and think 'Wow, she is so ungrateful! God has blessed her with a nice family and a roof over her head. Tisk,tisk.' and I suppose some of that may be true. I'm only human. I realize that I've been blessed with a home and family but I want to make it better. To make the most of what God has given me and make it BETTER for my husband and kids.






1 comment:

Oh Honestly Erin said...

Man, I can't tell you how much I relate to this post. I don't own my house, but I have been renting it since 1999. I moved in when I was 20 and I loooooved it. I lived alone, so it was spacious and open and was THE place to be!

Then Henry moved in sometime around 2002. And with Henry came his two pre-teen sons who he had every weekend and TOTALLY left a trail of funk everywhere they went.

Plus 4 cats.

Plus my own kid who was born in 2006.

These things took a toll on my once-pristine space. We've totally outgrown it, but can't really afford to buy a house yet. The hardwood floors are totally trashed. Our kitchen floor is coming up. The ceiling has holes in it from leaking pipes. My one cat pees everywhere so the first impression upon walking through the door is "HELLO CATS LIVE HERE."

I don't entertain anymore because I'm soooo embarrassed of the state of the house. But like you, we are trying to do small things here and there to make it more bearable until we can finally move. It is making it a little better, but it would be nice to not panic any time someone knocks on the front door, lol!

Sorry for the rambling comment. If you ever want to meet up and grab some coffee or something sometime and bullshit about our homes and music, please let me know! I would love to meet you!