Nikki

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Pittsburgh, United States
35 Y/O wife to Tim and mom to Emma,Noah,Caleb, Stella and 2 babies in Heaven.Trying to walk in the path of the Lord and carrying my family with me. I love our 1902 home we purchased more 10 years ago. It is constantly evolving and goes through whatever changes my little heart desires. I love vintage treasures and I'm always on the hunt for them! My hope is that this blog will be a constant scrapbook for my family and home,a place to make new friends and just somewhere to lay out my thoughts,even if they aren't beautiful or inspiring. XoXo-Nikki

Friday, February 22, 2013

Maybe my only post this month......

Today is a cold,icy Friday. It's poop.

I hate this month. I feel trapped. I feel depressed.
Do NOT tell me to get my license. It's not happening.

I did do something good this month- I gave up facebook for lent. It was hard for maybe the first 2 days but I'm on day 10 now. Not soaking up anyones drama. This means that I don't sit on the couch every day. This also means I've been reading tons of books with my kids.(Not that Caleb needs read to anymore. He's a phenomenal reader for a Kindergartner.) I've also been going crazy with my Smashbook and got a new one so I have it ready to go when my first fills up.

I like to sit at the end of the dining table. Next to this window. The morning sun (when there is any) comes in this window and I like to soak up any available vitamin D.


     I went to the doctors again on Tuesday. I've had a lump in my cheek for almost a month now. Most likely it's a cyst and the reason it hurts is that it's probably infected. Gross, I know.
 I saw the PA who I just love. She's the one who discovered the blood clot a few years back. She sat and talked to me. I went over the past 6 years since it started. The chest pains,body aches,headaches, lack of concentration. Then the shingles and the miscarriages.Blood clot after having Stella.Numbness and tingling. Weight gain. This has to be connected. Who goes through that much crap for no reason? I told her that I quit my job last year. That I can't sleep at night and can't get out of bed in the morning. That I hate not being the wife and mom I want to be because of the way I feel.

    So I'm getting some blood work done. I have to wait for this course of antibiotics is done to do it. I want answers. I want to figure this out and do what I can to feel better. I want to be able to concentrate again. I used to be so smart. Now I can not even think straight. I haven't read a book(well a book for ME, picture books don't count!!) in a year. Me!! I used to devour books.


I will update again when I feel up to it. It took me 3 hours to write this.

1 comment:

Armstrongs said...

Hang in there Nikki. And you're not missing anything on FB. I havent gotten a chance to tell you that your post about smashbooks inspired me to get one. I love scrapbooking, but this style suits me so much better. I've been singing their praises for weeks now. Thanks for sharing! :]