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I'm not quite sure where this cavalier attitude towards attending church came from. I still pray and spend time with God.(Not as often as I should,but I do). I haven't decided if it is our church or just going in general. I have always loved our church. It's big and beautiful.It's about 20 minutes away in an affluent suburb. The pastors are wonderful. But there are FOUR services,with thousands of members. I feel so lost there. We have often attended and were in and out without a hello from a familiar face. I really feel that I need more of a community feeling. I really feel the need to know others who share this belief with me. Not just worship with them.
This has come with some opposition from Tim.My husband is a quiet man. I'm pretty sure he enjoys going to worship and spending time with God and not having to socialize after. He does not want to try anything else. I can understand that. I understand he is comfortable where we are as our kids are as well. But I need community, I crave to fellowship with other women and families who really share my love for Christ. Tim is the head of the house so I know this is a big decision on his part (as was just going to church a few years back.)
This Friday night I will be attending The Hillsong United show with a lady I do know from church/bible study. I'm praying for guidance, renewal, revival, grace, forgiveness, strength......... I'm praying God speaks to me and fills me the Holy Spirit because. I need it. I really,truly do.