Nikki

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Pittsburgh, United States
35 Y/O wife to Tim and mom to Emma,Noah,Caleb, Stella and 2 babies in Heaven.Trying to walk in the path of the Lord and carrying my family with me. I love our 1902 home we purchased more 10 years ago. It is constantly evolving and goes through whatever changes my little heart desires. I love vintage treasures and I'm always on the hunt for them! My hope is that this blog will be a constant scrapbook for my family and home,a place to make new friends and just somewhere to lay out my thoughts,even if they aren't beautiful or inspiring. XoXo-Nikki

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Fearless

Anyone who knows me well knows that I can be a real 'fraidy cat. I'm not sure why this is. I was a bit sheltered as a child. Anxiety runs in my family.Whatever. I've even been called neurotic. Because of this I've never learned how to drive a car. So as a mom of 4 who wears many hats.....well a chauffeur cap is not one of them. No one ever taught me. In the past 17 I could have been driving but I never did. Will I ever? Who knows. Tim says I should. I think after what happened to my sister it's hard for me to even fathom being behind the wheel (even though she was the passenger). It stinks relying on people. Without driving it's hard for me to give back and serve others the way I wish I could.

My other huge phobia has always been flying. It is something I never did and for some weird reason it got really bad the first time I was pregnant. I would hear one fly overhead and have a serious panic attack. Then 9/11 happened (I was pregnant with Noah then) and it was like forget about it!!

I've been missing out on some great things because I won't step on an airplane. I've always wanted to see the country and go on a cruise (oddly enough no big ship phobia!!). So when Tim got this new job he was there but 2 weeks and announced that they would be sending him to Las Vegas for a conference in June. What? He was going to step on a plane?(he'd never been either) and leave me here for 6 days without a way around? With 4 kids at that!!

So what bothered me the most? That he was leaving me for a week to have fun in Vegas without me? That he was going on a plane and I feared for his safety? That the thought of being home all that time with the kids seemed a little overwhelming to me? It was that he was going to have fun without me. In the nearly 13 years we've been together we only went away together once. Well without the kids. We've never even been on a honeymoon. So a few days later he was told I could go with him. So I am. Yes. I'm going on a plane and I'm totally ok with it. My faith in God is way bigger than my fear. I'm here to live a good life here on earth before my eternal life and I need this time with my love. Plus I need to let my kids know it's ok for Mama and Daddy to go on a vacation and it's ok to get on a plane. (Especially when missions opportunities arise in high school and college!!)

vintage vega$



So Vegas huh? Are you getting a picture of seedy nightclubs,drunk men playing poker and show girls? Not my scene I know! There's tons of other stuff to do there. I'll be lounging around the resort while Tim is in classes and conferences. In the evening we'll be dining well and taking in some shows. We have a whole slew of sitters eager to help out while we are gone. I'm actually very excited. Once I get over this I think more doors will open helping to me live this life to it's fullest!

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