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Pittsburgh, United States
35 Y/O wife to Tim and mom to Emma,Noah,Caleb, Stella and 2 babies in Heaven.Trying to walk in the path of the Lord and carrying my family with me. I love our 1902 home we purchased more 10 years ago. It is constantly evolving and goes through whatever changes my little heart desires. I love vintage treasures and I'm always on the hunt for them! My hope is that this blog will be a constant scrapbook for my family and home,a place to make new friends and just somewhere to lay out my thoughts,even if they aren't beautiful or inspiring. XoXo-Nikki

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Today I prayed

A prayer of Thanksgiving. Everything seems to be improving. My dad seems to be doing better. He is walking with a cane and he can now hold a good conversation.
I feel.....ok I guess. As well as can be expected for being 19 weeks pregnant :)

Yes,pregnant again. I can't quite describe my feelings on this but I'll try. I found out on February 11th. I told Tim about an hour later. I was gonna tell him on Valentines day but I waited for as long as it took the delivery guys with the new mattress to leave! We kept it to ourselves for about a week. Then things took a turn. I started to feel awful! My first OB appointment revealed that my bp was 189/100! I was put on meds for that along with baby aspirin just in case my previous losses were to due to some sort of clotting disorder. When this happened I felt I should tell my mom afterall. I would say the news trickled out to close friends and family along the course of the next month or so. I got REALLY sick and lost about 20lbs the first trimester. I don't think any of my kids ever gave me morning sickness like that. Although Emma was close.

I've had more than my share of trips to the ER with 2 instances of bleeding and a few with pain. One for dehydration. Sometimes perhaps I was (am??) neurotic. I pretty much spent the first trimester waiting for the other shoe to drop,expecting the worst. After last year I couldn't help but worry.And worry some more.

I've had quite a few ultrasounds now. Showing a healthy baby with a strong heartbeat. Our last U/S showed us that our baby is most likely a little girl!!! We will go back in a few weeks to know for sure.

Everyday her little kicks are growing stronger as my bond to her does. I had a really hard time letting myself get excited and attached.But now I'm feeling better about it. Reality is sinking in that I will finally get to be a mommy of 4 (here on earth,I will never forget that I am really a mommy of 6 now!!) God does hear our prayers and is faithful to us when we are faithful to him.
HE got us to this point.

I still have not bought one thing for the baby. Perhaps I will soon. I'm just starting to feel like I can breathe but I know I'll be holding my breath till she takes her first.........

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